Little lights

It's no question that I've been swimming in several weeks, or months, of deep, dark waters.  Oceans thick with confusion, haze, frustration, grief, sadness, loneliness have been my playground.  I blend the metaphors intentionally: I'm swimming, I'm playing, I'm falling, I'm drowning, I'm getting back up, I'm climbing, I'm laughing, I'm scared, I'm trying, I'm failing, I'm succeeding.


Yes.


Again, I am.


Yes.


I'm a child.  I'm the parent.  I'm an Olympian.  I'm on the bench.


Our journeys are never linear, right?  We're all over the place - I'm all over the place.  Yes.


Yes, and amen.


Over the weekend, T and I went over to another couple's new place to watch a movie together.  It was lovely to be invited into their new home - a big step for them - and to be invited to just be silly and to simply be.


Ok, so we watched Bridesmaids.  Those of you that read this, I'm sure, have mixed feelings about this movie whether you've seen it or not.  I know for a fact that I have some family members that saw the movie and totally hated it.  Regardless of what you do or don't think about it, however, I have been dying to see it since it was released in the theaters.  I even went with a group of girlfriends to see it, and the theater sold out of tickets by the time half of my group got in!  I...was not one of the ones in.  Very sad day.  Since then, I had been anticipating it's DVD release like crazy.

Let me just tell you - I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time.  I mean, tears-rolling-down-cheeks, stomach-hurting, cheeks-burning laughing.  It's so inappropriate, so crude, and at times so uncomfortable that I wasn't sure I should still be watching.  (But no nudity - which I realized the next day and thought was interesting).  But it was friggin' hysterical.  And, my God, what a relief to laugh and laugh and laugh uncontrollably.  My body had to remember how to do it.  Thank goodness laughing is like riding a bike - but way better.


Also, on the subject of movies, I have to see this.  And so do you.





It looks beautiful!  So sweet, heartfelt, and moving.


Movies may be trite, or a waste of time, but there's something really significant about finding little light points when I'm weighed down so heavily.