Another 365 days

It's hard to believe we've arrived at 2012.  I hope you have some major plans on your calendars for this year because, according to the Mayans, this is it.  T and I decided on a whim to make a little trip out of our New Years weekend since we didn't have any big plans.  We booked a room at the Downtown Hotel in Port Angeles and drove the two and a half hours up to the Olympic Peninsula to ring in the new year.  It was a short trip, but a nice one with (way) too much good food.  We hopped in and out of antique shops, spent some time in a candy store, and ate two, yes two dinners.  Since we couldn't get a reservation at our restaurant of choice, Michael's, until 8:45, we had a little pre-dinner dinner at Downrigger's around 4, which overlooked the water.  Dinner number one at Downrigger's was odd - our waitress obviously had some personal d.r.a.m.a. getting in the way of her job performance, so we had a sufficiently awkward experience.  Dinner number two was amazing.

This photo of Port Angeles Downtown Hotel is courtesy of TripAdvisor

 Appetizer: Baked oysters with bacon, spinach, and basil 

aioli

 Entree: Traditional paella for two (local seafood, shellfish,

chicken, and Linguica sausage on a bed of crisped rice)

Dessert: NYE specialty chocolate tower cake with 

layers of strawberry filling, atop a vanilla custard

with a scoop of homemade raspberry ice-cream

We don't do it often, but we do it right.  Since our reservation was so late, we sort of hoped to last at Michael's until midnight.  After we downed all that food, however, the only thing that sounded good was heading back to our hotel room to change into "stretchy pants."  So we watched fireworks at the Space Needle from our hotel TV, and hoped that Jazzy wasn't freaking out at home.  (When we arrived home today, we found out that instead of freaking out about fireworks, Jazzy freaked out about being locked in our linen closet the entire time we were gone.  Oops.  We gave her lots of love and hugs to make up for it). 

As I glanced back at my New Years post 365 days ago, I reflect on 2011 and the surprises that it held for me as I imagined what it would look like on that first day of January.  So many hopes realized and so many hopes lost last year.  There were wonderful, beautiful, and joyous surprises last year, and there were also painful, dark, and heavy surprises too.  I can tell as I sit here, anticipating yet another year to come, that the last 365 days have really shaped me.  They have rocked me.  In some ways, they have made me hard and cynical.  I can tell that I don't have the same kind of boundless hope, nor do I care to even think about resolutions in the same way that I did on January 1st, 2011.  Some ideas, some relationships, some dreams don't have the same shimmer as they once may have.  While it may sound unpleasant, and it is, I am also grateful for how 2011 stretched me and will continue to.  The conversations that I have with my supervisor at my internship often circle around the "growing up" that I'm in the middle of doing.  Part of growing up is losing the innocence that we all know and desire: the starry eyed hope in the goodness of people and the world, the belief in Santa and the tooth fairy, unbridled trust and loyalty even in the midst of betrayal.  It's sad to me that often times growing up means losing some of these things.  I can also tell, however, that my growing this year has made me particularly strong and feel particularly empowered, despite my many moments of feeling the complete absence of these things.  

It's love and loss.  It's hope and cynicism.  

It's trust and doubt.  It's joy and grief.

This year is big: graduation and new jobs are in my future.  There is much to anticipate, much to hope for, much to dream of.  There is much growing to do.  Here's to 2012 being a good one whether it's the last one or not.