Gettin' into it

Last week T and I hosted a Mars Hill "Neighborhood Dinner" which they organize a couple of times a year for the students to get to know the other students/their families that live close by. So great! It was the first time we had gotten the chance to really open our home and truly "host." (Other than my buddy, Natalie, who is just sort of part of the family around here). So, while T was at work, I stayed and domesticated the crap out of myself. I'm talkin' crock pot, cleaning, baking, vacuuming. Too bad I forgot to whip out the apron.

Cheesecake recipe

Hand-crushed graham cracker and walnut crust

Yumster vanilla filling - I couldn't get it smooth to save my life.

I'll have to make more for perfection.

Exhaustion after making cheesecake.

That's some hard work.

Mm...and chocolate on top.

The aftermath of my cooking extravaganza.

(Note the glass of milk and PB&J that I rewarded myself with).

Five and a half hours! Vegetable casserole crazy.

Unfortunately I was too embarrassed to ask our guests to take pictures, so I don't have documentation of them. But there were 10 people over here! If you recall the diagram of our apartment that I posted a couple of months back, 10 people is A LOT of people. Plus a baby. But it was so so great. T and I even got to know a couple that's just a few years older than us that live only blocks away. We really hit it off with them, so we're hoping to have made some couple-friends. It's weird how that's sort of a requirement now.

Ironically enough, I had actually met this couple when I visited Mars Hill for the first time back in November of 2008. I had dinner with them and we talked for a really long time. Then, I didn't see them when school started last fall, so I assumed they decided not to come. So when they walked through our door last week, the Rolodex of my brain went a-reelin'. When it finally clicked, I couldn't believe they were standing in front of me! It was pretty nuts.

While I reward myself with milk and PB&J, T resorts to wine.

It was about 11pm at this point.

We had to wash literally every dish we owned.

We both had to work in the morning.

Joy of joys.

Insanely good veggie casserole leftovers (we made pescatarian accommodations).

Cheesecake baby!

T seems to be adjusting to the new job at The Children's Institute really well. He is somewhat one-on-one with this 14-year-old kid named Alec who is deeply troubled. He has been in and out of different institutions for threatening his parents' lives and his own; not only that, his dad suddenly passed away last over the weekend. This kid has a lot going on. So T is dealing with someone who, on the whole, is a lot angrier than most of the folks he worked with at Creative Living in NC - tough adjustment in my opinion. I think he's really missing the people back at his old job, though - they had a pretty tight community. So lots of adjusting all around.

I'm adjusting to life as a second-year. As my friend, Trishelle, commented in class this past week, "I finally feel like I know what it's like to be in grad school now." Whereas we were completely expending ourselves emotionally last year, the academic load this term has been laid thick. Unfortunately, the emotional work is definitely not over.

I would like to ask a special favor of you, my faithful readers. All three of you.

The professor of my Sexual Disorders class suggested that we think seriously about the ways that we can care for ourselves regarding that class - whether that be getting together with peers before or after class, drinking a glass of wine when we get home, whatever. I would really appreciate any good vibes, prayers, thoughts, and/or encouragement on Tuesdays at 3:30 Seattle-time (that would be 6:30 East Coast-time). That's when we meet and, you know, I really didn't expect to have the strong reactions that I have been having. We've met twice so far, and I've been an emotional wreck during and after each class. It just feels so much heavier and more overwhelming than really any of the classes at Mars Hill so far. I feel sad, scared, helpless, lost - and not just on my own behalf but on the behalf of my peers, my family and friends, my future clients, and myself as a future therapist. It's a lot to swallow already. I've shed many tears already. I need your support: a text message, an e-mail, a Facebook message, whatever. I'm not sure why it's so tough already, but knowing I have a community carrying me and caring for me would really mean the world.

Another biggie has been my Theology I class. Our professor is wonderful - she's a professional violinist and theologian. A brilliant, endearing, and energetic woman. I really love her. But the content of the class has been a challenge - I haven't thought about Theology since I became super depressed in college. So now, I'm being forced to face it - for a grade nonetheless! It's really good for me. But it's a fight. A fight against God and against myself - mostly my stubborn, resentful self. Last week we had to discuss the questions, "Do you believe in God?" and "What do you know about God?" in small groups; then we had to represent our discussion via crafts. I was so frustrated at the fact that anything I think about God ends with a question mark; I told my group that for years, I have just wanted something about my personal beliefs in God to end with a period.

Maybe I can get one declarative statement about God down this term.

I leave you with a passage from Meditations with Meister Eckhart, I book I read last fall for class. I've been reflecting on it a lot in the last week. Also, just so you know...I'm going on a roadtrip. And I'm so excited. Natalie is starting her long journey home to Atlanta, moving out of Seattle this coming week. While my heart is breaking that she is moving away, I am so thrilled and honored to be with her during the first leg of the trip - down the California coast to San Francisco. Will post probably after I get back :)

I pray God

to rid me

of God.

The highest and loftiest thing that one can let go of is

to let go of God for the sake of God.

God’s exit

is

her entrance.

The more you seek God, the less you will find God.

If you do not seek God,

you will find God.

God does not ask anything else of you except

that you let yourself go

and let God

be God

in you.

Above all else, then;

Be prepared at all times

for the gifts of God

and be ready always

for new ones.

For God is a thousand times

more ready to give

than we are

to receive.

As God is omnipotent in his deeds,

so too the soul is equally profound

in its capacity to receive.

- Eckhart